Tonight, my kids went to bed on their own for the very first time since we moved them all into one room. Before, We had the twins in one room, and baby girl in her own that doubled as the guest room.
We could put baby girl in her room and know with out a doubt that she would go right to sleep. It was lovely. The twins, no way. They had to be monitored at all times. If not, they would destroy everything they could get their hands on. We decided to move them all into one room, so that we could have a guest room available for, well, guests. LOL My parents had been coming to visit often, and Bryan's parents were planning visits as well. It was getting hard for baby girl to share her room with everyone. She wouldn't let them sleep!
So we moved the guest room to the twins old room, and all three kids into the biggest room in the house. Yes, their room is even bigger than my room. So far its working out really well. I think they've been in their since May or June. But, it became apparent on the very first night that they could not be trusted to go to sleep with out supervision. So, either myself, Bryan or sometimes even Dylan, sit with them every single nap time and every single night.
Tonight Bryan asks me if we could try to let them "do it on their own". So, with great fear, I agreed. It only took about 3 hours, but they all did finally fall asleep on their own. And they didn't destroy the room, or even leave it! So, I think all in all it went well. I'm hoping this is a new beginning of nice evenings sitting with Bryan, instead either of us passing out in the very uncomfortable chair in the kids room.
But then there is a part of me that will miss that time with the kids. They had gotten in the habit of singing to me on the nights I sat with them. Twinkle Twinkle little star was their favorite song to sing. And even though the "He waked me up", "She waked me up" was annoying, it was also adorable in a crazy sort of way... and more than a few times I had to catch myself from laughing out loud at them because of it! Half the time the "waker upper" hadn't even moved! :)
And most of all, I will miss the extra hugs and kisses I get in when its my turn. Probably about 10 extra per kid cause I can't ever refuse the "Can I have a hug/kiss" when its said with big droopy eyes.. you all know the eyes, the ones that melt your heart, and bring a smile to your face even when you've just been totally ticked and frustrated that they WON'T GO TO SLEEP!!! Those eyes get me every time!
Its such a bittersweet moment, as is all the "they are getting older" moments, for me. I want to stop time, yet I also really like the changes too. I remember going through similar moments with my oldest, and feeling much the same way. Missing what was, and liking what is, and looking forward too (and fearing sometimes) what was to come. Maybe I'm more overcome, knowing with out a doubt that this is the last time I'll be "here". These are my last children. And I wish I could slow it all down and treasure it, revel in it, devour every moment completely... because soon, it will be something else.. some new change, and this will be the past moment I wish I had held closer.
And that is Why I scrap. Because it gives me the moment to hold on to forever. With out holding too tight to the kids, and holding them back. It is for me, the tangible, touchable, memory saved forever. And I love that.
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